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Post by melissa16 on Sept 4, 2007 12:28:15 GMT -5
hello!! well i thaught if start a journal here, i previously had a journal in oxygen... but i was like obsessed and became addicted with it!! so i recently stoped going in there, plus i found it very hard to express myself as i wanted to there, because for me.. this is for god, im living my life for him. and i couldnt exactly say all i wanted to there without feeling comfortable. so right now im not focusing on weight lose.. thatd be nice tho im focusing on my addiction to eating, and im focusing my life on god right now, only he can heal me! but im cutting it short right now, because im off to school. ill right alot more about my past later and my goals!! im excited to be here, its an awesome environment!
-Melissa <3
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Post by melissa16 on Sept 4, 2007 15:21:54 GMT -5
alrighty so im back from school and ready to give a full intro.
name melissa, im 17 years old and in my last year of high school. ive been struggling with my weight since i was a little girl, i started my weight loss journey almost 3 years ago now. ive so far lost 65lbs.. starting out at 250 and now im at 185. im pretty happy were i am right now, i dont mind staying at this weight, but i do have those days were satans gets to me and i totaly hate myself! but thats getting better, ive also had alot of addiction problem now and in my past, i was recently doing cocaine, but i am now almost a year of being clean from it! now im soo so happy that im not on that path anymore, but im sad to say i replaced and bad habit with another. since i quit using drugs i "night eat" go to bed full... get up almost every 3 hrs like half consious of whats going on and just eat my heart out! but im getting so much better, with the help of the lord. and ive tried "being strong" and ect but lets face it... im nothing without my amazing god! so right now im focusing on puting god before ALL, and just giving my every day to him and just hoping that i can break free from these strongholds.
now on to my diet.. im currently doing the program SOS. if any of you are familiar... its an online program from cathy savage. it is amazing so far.
also i have binging issues and trying to sabatoge myself! but i noe with gods help we can do this!!
so daily i will post what i eat and my activity. also 1 time a week ill post my weight and if theres any changes. anyways itll mostly be lots of rambling!
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Post by melissa16 on Sept 4, 2007 15:24:29 GMT -5
Tuesday: Meals: m1: chicken, brown rice, ketchup, carrots, coffee m2: pp, coffee, brown rice, blueberries m3: pw: apple, 1/2 pp /pw: 1/2 pp, brown rice, ketchup m4: salmon steak, ketchup, veggie m5: tuna, flax oil, onions, mushrooms Training: WW A Cardio: 30 min 9/10 back on track today!!
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Post by TaQuilla on Sept 5, 2007 7:39:35 GMT -5
Wow, melissa! What an awesome testimony. We are so blessed to have you share it with us. I understand about not being able to express yourself on the other site. Don't get me wrong, I love the wealth of info over there, but I too know that if you are not careful, you can get sucked in, and not everything discussed over there is necessarily edifying to our faith, if you know what I mean. I guess you end up taking the good with the bad, because I've learned so much through reading many of the posts over there, but sometimes I get frustrated having to weed through all of the ridicule that goes on seemingly more frequently. I continue to pray that one day the Lord will turn this board into the same wealth of info, only with it directed in the right place - for His Glory. Because honestly, there's no other reason for living a fit and healthy lifestyle (except vanity). Glorifying God with my body helps me keep the proper perspective when I look in the mirror, and when I fail to do so, it loses all meaning. OK, off my soapbox... I will keep you in my prayers as far as addictions, this is also a huge issue in my family. Addictions ( to several things, including cocaine) have run rampant for decades, and I struggle constantly with trying to live out everything in moderation, knowing full well how easily an addiction can start (even with things that don't seem like addictions to others, like food)... Your diet looks awesome, no wonder you're doing so well with your weight loss, I hope one day to see some before/after pics . How long have you been doing SOS? I've wondered how well it works, so I guess I'll see from your progress. Well, I'm off to my journal to post my current happenings, looking forward to getting to know you !!
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Post by TaQuilla on Sept 5, 2007 7:42:44 GMT -5
Another quick question, how in the world do you manage to eat so well, going to school? Do you pack lunch? Do tell, because that's a major stumbling block for many in the eating well aspect (work/school, etc)...
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Post by melissa16 on Sept 5, 2007 12:17:51 GMT -5
hey! lol awh well.. i pack like major lunches for the hole day.. and the only reason why i eat so good.. is cuz i have SO MANY allergies... to wheat, dairy, all grains except rice, corn starch, all corn products (ud be suprised how much corn is in everything).. but yea i kinda took it as a blessing. and learnt to live with it, plus it kicked my but into the right direction! well ive just been doing sos for a month, and ill deffinitly post pics soon! and yes i totaly agree with the oxygen site thing, thats why i was so excited to hear about this one!! to do today: eat as planned, am devotion-DONE before bed devotion psalm meals (at least 3) -done 2 so far school work 4-10 get a good sleep tonight! no nigth eating oh yes.. and last night i night ate but im taking it and learning from it. i like to turn satans attacks on him and use them as good, and i learn something out of it and come closer to god. meals: m1: pp, brown rice, 1/2 cup bb m2: tuna, brown rice, ketchup, apple m3: tuna, 2 tsp flax oil, cucumbers, ketchup, mustard m4: chicken, brown rice, apple m5: chicken, cucumbers m6: pp, 2 tsp flax oil water: 1 gallon training: off cardio: off
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Post by melissa16 on Sept 5, 2007 12:19:10 GMT -5
also yes lots of packing for the day!! i find when i dont prepare everything its SO easy to get off plan! lol and u also get used to everyone being like "ewww that stinks"
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Post by yolandadcurry on Sept 6, 2007 15:42:41 GMT -5
Hi! Melissa, it's great tp have you on board. My computor's been packed up because my family just moved from Arizona to Virginia so I've been away from the site for a while. But now I'm back and very happy to meet you. You have been through some things that are definetly going to be edification for God. Because so many young people like yourself don't usually start turning their life around until it's too late, or much later in life. I'm 44 years old and wont have the testimony that you will have when you finish defeating satan. I do have many things to that have been a blessing for me and many testimonies but again look haw many years it took me to get things in somewhat of an order. So I thank you for letting us share in your success of breaking the chains that our enemy has placed on us. I also thank you for your testimony so that we ladies that have also decided to live healthy for God and be living evidence that all things are possible for those who love the Lord.
May God Bless you and Welcome to virtue & strength.
Yolanda
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Post by melissa16 on Sept 6, 2007 16:30:18 GMT -5
awh thanks for the welcoming words!! u ladies are truly amazing, and quite the inspirations too. so last night satan went on with his normal attacks.. i woke up maybe 1 hr after going to bed.. went and grabbed some chicken.. and some bb lied back down and ate the chicken. then i was like WHAT AM I DOING!!!!! and felt this realy strong guilt and just felt so helpless. then all of a sudden i got this thaught in my head that im all alone, and gods left me... i seriously dont noe where that came from! i never think that. but then i just full out prayed to god, and just asked he would give me the strength i need, and well i didnt eat those blueberries that were beside my bed.. so this morning i was kinda embarassed about my night eating but so thank ful that god showed me he was there. so tonight im supposed to go to this support group (tops) with my mom.. but i realy dont want to. because i dont wanna think about loosing weight right now and getting side tracked. i noe that i have to do with this first before i can continue with my weight lose. im just munchin down my 4th meal then off to the gym.. im interested to see how this workout goes.. i recently just got a new training program from sos and ive switched back to fullbodys. also im doing 9/10 cardio tonight (which is intervals at high intensity) so tonight i plan on doing homework and some bible reading. oh yea lol my homeowork is an autobiography about myself. and i totaly turned it into a testimony about god at first i was like nahhh... but now im like o who cares i got nothin to loose right! meals: m1: pp, coffee, 1/2 cup rice, 1/2 cup blueberries m2: apple, tuna, 1/2 cup rice, ketchup m3: subway veggie salad, tuna, 2 tsp flax oil, cucumber m4: 1/2 cup rice, chicken, ketchup, 1/2 cup blueberries m5: pp, watermelon m6: tuna, 2 tsp flax oil, onions, mushrooms water: 1 gallon training: WW B cardio: 9/10-30 min
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Post by TaQuilla on Sept 6, 2007 22:18:44 GMT -5
The best part about all of it, is that you make the conscious choice to get back on track again. I know I definitely have times where those late night binges get the best of me, but getting back up and continuing to fight is what makes all the difference. I am so grateful to God for that. How'd your support meeting go? What kind of meeting was it? Your autobiograpy sounds awesome! What better time to witness than this one? I wish I had done more courageous things like that in school. Especially in the last year of high school, that's when it's time to leave your mark, lol.
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Post by melissa16 on Sept 7, 2007 23:39:26 GMT -5
aw i love that im leaving this mark on my last year of high school. thinkin of that makes me wanna try so much harder. today was super long!! im so tierd. last night i just had a little breakdown and cried and thaught out about life and ect, and talked to my mom and then talked to god. and latley i havent been able to sleep peacefully. i feel so irritated and i know satan is attacking me because he knows thats the best time to do it to me. but last night i just realy prayed to god for peace, and me and my mom cleansed our house with prayers. and my sleep... was amazing!! this morning i also got so nervous finishing up my autobiography.. and i was like ahh what if he gets mad and fails me but i had to remind myself... when judgement time comes.. this mark willnot matter.. its the fact that im telling ppl about god that will matter. also eating has been decent.. this weekend im gonna fast for a bit.. supposibly its an amazing experience if done right. anyways ill post tomorrow mornin before work. oh and the support meeting... well u weigh in.. see if u lost or gained.. then we have a meeting and talk about stuff liek dieting, but i find it to be less motivating for me.. its a bunch of older ladies fighting over if u count coffee as drinking water and if u can eat white or brown rice... plus the weigh ins are at night time.. so thats an emotional rollercoster in its self! i can go up like 5 lbs in a day!
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Post by cannelewis on Sept 8, 2007 16:23:24 GMT -5
Hi Melissa,
Where in the world are you going that they weigh you at night?! Any expert knows you don't do that for just the reason you mentioned a emotional rollercoster!! This causes people to give up on weight lost goals. If possible from now on decline being weighed at night.
I know all to well because like you I'm on the weight loss jouney too. The difference is you're young and can lose it a little quicker. I'm now 50 but have a goal to get healthy again. I'm down 35ish or so pounds. My batteries died in my scale and I haven't bought any yet.
But like I said above, I never, never, ever weigh myself at night. But you hang in there because God is good and will be there though it all with you.
Cheryl
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Post by TaQuilla on Sept 9, 2007 23:21:56 GMT -5
Hope you had a good weekend! When is the next support meeting? Is it kinda like Weight Watchers? I would probably consider opting out, if you're not actually getting "support", but if it's something you enjoy, you may want to bring up the weighing at night issue, or either don't put much stock in it (since you know your weight varies at that time of day). I'm happy to hear that you were able to overcome Satan's attacks, with the help of your mother and God. I hope you had success throughout the weekend as well. I was out of town over the weekend, so I'll have to get on over and start posting in my journal again, too.
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Post by melissa16 on Oct 27, 2007 9:07:35 GMT -5
WOW! k ahh i kinda ran from journaling for while. so im gonna update on what my amazing God has been doing in my life! for so long ive been crying and crying out to god, why cant u just take this food addiction away from me?! it hurts so bad i cant stop. and of corse its deeper then that, theres a root behind it all. ive been seeing a christian counsellor, and we've been doing healing prayer. its amazing the feeling i get when i feel God talking to me. right now im 100% positive there is a god! (which is a big step.. since only 2 months ago i was doubting him) anyways back to the story.. so every week god prepares me for what he wants to heal in me, ive been going for i think 8 weeks now. and last week.. i kept having devotions on trust and putting my life in gods hands.. i new there was a reason behind it. so on thursday God revealed the ultimate pain and hurt i have been covering with food. im totally open and raw right now. there is not a thing in my life that is covered up right now.. all tho this pain is so deep and im a ball of emotions right now. and my anxiety is soo high and i keep thinking im going nuts. because all of a sudden everythings so real, so i ask for ur prayers!! but right now threw this pain im turning to God, because he is the comforter. satan just relizes this is a good time to attack me, but im a child of God, and nothing can seperate me froms gods love. oh and im praising god and giving thanks so much right now! i felt a HUGE release on thursday during prayer.. since then i dont have the need to overeat i dont think about food at all really! just out of habit once in a while ill over eat.. but the result is an unbearable pain in my heart.. i feel so so terrible when i do now. lol im so joyfull right now.. even writing this has almost got me crying.
about sos... im not even following it lol, so theres no point to paying.. so this month im not signing back up. also the support program.. lol i know its so emotional and crazy! what if u drink like 2 more glasses of water then last week.. ur up lol. ah well its good for my mom to go.. that way she gets out and makes friends.
i hope u are all doing well!! i look forward to posting here again and getting to know u ladies!
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Post by TaQuilla on Nov 6, 2007 6:25:36 GMT -5
I'm SO glad to see that you posted! I tried posting to you the other day, but it didn't go through. Your testimony continues to inspire me, seeing the Lord working on you and walking with you every step of the way. I will continue to pray for your deliverance in this area where Satan is trying his best to hold you down. I know that in His perfect timing, you will be delivered into specific truths in His word to continue to strengthen you on this journey. It will be an awesome testimony to someone else who will one day go through the same thing, and you'll be able to help them through. It seems as if the Lord is preparing you for a mighty work in His kingdom, if you just let Him do His thing... On another note, how'd your autobiography go, has it been turned in yet, or is it more of a term paper? Sorry to hear that SOS isn't working out for you. You know that we're always here (albeit quietly, lol ) to support you in your efforts with encouraging words and prayer (which is most important). And I know you get tons of good info (as far as working out) from O2 (although I haven't been in a while). I do have a couple of "clients" that I'm training right now,lol (I laugh because they're all related to me - meaning "free") - so I'd be happy to help out and correspond w/you as well- if you needed... I hope to hear from you again soon, sorry my post didn't go through and it took so long for me to respond! God bless.
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